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My Open Letter to Mr. BASHAM MARLIZA of BOA

Posted on October 25, 2012  in Blog Experiences

I got a letter from Basham Marliza. He claims to be a Manager of Bank of Africa. Because I am very helpful <and insert other adjectives here> today I am posting my reply here in my blog.

Original Letter:

FROM MR. BASHAM MARLIZA (B.O.A)BANK
BILL AND EXCHANCE MANAGER
FOREING NITERNATIONALE DEPT
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO
WEST AFRICA.
Dear Friend,

Let me start by introducing myself,I am Mr Basham Marliza.Manager of Bank Of Africa Burkina faso.
I am writting you this letter based on the latest development at my Department which I will like to bring to your personal edification.(€8.5million Euro ) transfer claims. please it is only known between me and you keep it secret.

This is a legitimate transaction and I agreed to offer you 40% of this money as my foreign partner after confirmation of the fund in your bank account, If you are interested,do get back to me with the following datas below. And let it be a top secret, not interested kingly delete it out.

(1)Your full Name…………………..

(2)Your full residential address…….

(3)Your occupation…..

(4)Your re City……..

(5)Country of origin……………..

(6)Your Mobile phone………

(7)Your age……..

(8)Your marital status…..

As soon as I receive these data’s, I will forward to you the application form which you will send to the bank. For more information call to me at 00226 79 10 90 71.

Best Regard
Mr Basham Marliza.

My Reply:

Dear Friend,

Let me also start by introducing myself, I am Mr. Menard Connect, Lieutenant General of the Horde Expedition Forces to the Bad Piggies Island (BPI).

I am replying to you to let you know that your colleague, Mr. Dan Maha have been contacting me since 2010 about a similar transaction with Bank of Africa.

I am happy to inform you that Mr. Maha is in the process of transferring 419 thousand Euros  as my commission (and I cannot hide my excitement that finally I will be filthy rich soon 🙂 )

I am also replying to you to seek your help in doing a follow up request for my payment from your bank. Because after 2 years of patiently waiting, Mr. Maha have not given me a call or email.

I am also glad to let you know that Mr. Maha’s assistants Ms. Marie Velasco and Ms. Sam Mendoza have contacted me promising me more lucrative transactions plus of “other” favors.

Sorry I will not be available to take your call or reply to your email request further because I will be busy with my other unofficial activities (mist of pandaria partnerka, bad piggies jafake-a, angry birds space blacole, etc.)

Sorry I am bad at keeping secrets so please forgive me if I will post this as open letter to my blog.

Good luck to you and your friends at BOA!

Lok’tar Ogar… from me and the Horde (and some Oink! Oink! love from my Bad Piggies friends too)

Until next time…

Best Regards,
Mr. Menard Connect

P.S.
I would recommend you hire some quality assurance people to help you in writing business letters. This is because your letter contains a lot of spelling and grammar errors. I admit I am not good in English (my English is barok English) but given my limited language skills I did find 419 errors in your letter 😀